Joining At Tech Bootcamp at 45 - I Thought I Already Knew It All
Turns out I didn't - not by a long shot
I joined a tech bootcamp aged 45. I thought it would be a ‘refresher’. Boy, was I in for a shock.
I had 15+ years of web development experience and honestly felt sorry for the others - newbies, career switchers, recent graduates.
They didn’t know how hard it was going to be, I thought.
Poor them, I thought.
I was the one who found it hardest.
Not only was the work extremely challenging, I was also battling some very hectic internal struggles:
Undiagnosed ADHD (no clue whatsoever)
Perimenopause (doc said I didn’t have it yet)
Age-related self-doubt
Childcare stresses and mum guilt
Perfectionism
Comparisionitis on the daily
My internal dialogue was brutal:
“I know what I’m doing, I should be able to cope, WHY can’t I just do this?”
I felt like I was drowning but kept telling everyone I was “fine”....then going home and night and crying, exhausted - still trying to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at bootcamp the next day.
Half (most) of the people around you are dealing with invisible challenges too.
- The parent or carer juggling childcare.
- The person with a disability, hidden or otherwise.
- The woman in peri/menopause who doesn’t even know it yet
- The person living with systems of oppression
We’re all pretending we’re “fine” when we’re actually just getting through it.
The difference now is that I understand myself.
I know my patterns.
I can spot when I’m struggling and actually do something about it.
And I help other women do the same.
Have you ever told yourself you were “fine” just to keep going?
P.S. Have a good weekend 🌤️ ☀️